Understanding and Engaging Resistant Students
It can be incredibly frustrating to work with a child who doesn’t believe they need tutoring—especially when you see their potential and know how far they’ve come. For some students, particularly those who struggle with reading or have learning disabilities, this belief can be a significant barrier to progress. I’ve had this experience firsthand, working with a student who consistently told me, “I already know how to read.” Even though we’ve been working together for over a year, his progress has been slow, and his resistance has made our sessions feel like a battle. It’s emotionally draining for both of us.
So, what do you do when your child or student believes they don’t need help, despite clear evidence to the contrary? Let’s first look at some possible reasons behind this resistance.
Why Do Some Students Resist Tutoring?
For many students, especially those with learning difficulties like dyslexia, resistance to tutoring is rooted in deeper feelings of frustration, embarrassment, or fear of failure. It can be easier to say, “I don’t need help” than to admit they’re struggling. This resistance is often a defense mechanism. As one mentor wisely put it, it’s “cooler” to say something is stupid or boring than to admit, “I feel stupid.”
In the case of one student I’ve been tutoring, he began with significant challenges in reading and spelling. Despite making slow but steady progress, his attitude toward learning continues to hinder his growth. Like many children, he doesn't yet have the self-awareness or emotional maturity to recognize his improvements, which makes it harder for him to stay motivated. He feels stuck, and that’s a tough place to be.
Understanding Slow Progress
Resistance isn’t the only reason progress can be slow. Learning, especially for students with specific challenges, can be a long, uneven journey. When your student feels frustrated, they’re more likely to disengage, making it harder for them to absorb the lessons. This frustration can become a self-fulfilling cycle: the student resists learning because it feels too hard, and because they resist, they don’t progress as quickly as they could.
In moments like these, it’s important to remember that any progress, no matter how small, is still progress. When I reflect on the year I’ve spent with my student, I can see his gains, even if they don’t always appear as quickly as I’d like. Patience and persistence are key.
Strategies to Engage Resistant Students
Over the past year, I’ve tried several approaches to help break through this resistance. Sometimes, creativity and flexibility are the best tools in your tutoring toolkit. Here are some strategies that have worked in my experience and that of other tutors:
Incentives and Accountability
One strategy that’s worked for me is using incentives. One parent asked me to create an easy way for the student and parents to visually track the student’s progress. In response, I created Step and Substep certificates, as well as a method to track progress through the Wilson Reading Program. You can view them here if you are interested. A colleague introduced Pokémon cards as a reward system for one of her students. He collected these cards and could choose two each week if he completed his tasks. However, even with this reward, he still resisted, claiming he didn’t need tutoring. Accountability is equally important. If a student wastes time during the session, make it clear that the time will be made up. Avoiding the work doesn’t mean escaping the responsibility.
Games and Interactive Learning
One of the most successful ways to engage a resistant student is through games. This approach turns learning into something enjoyable rather than a chore. Another colleague suggested laying out word cards around the room, creating a path for students to follow as they read each word. This physical activity makes it more fun and less monotonous. I’ve also created many games that can be woven into lessons, where each correct reading or spelling response earns a turn in the game. If you are interested in checking out some games and activities in my TPT store, click here. Sometimes, mixing things up a little helps reluctant students stay engaged.
Reading Real-World Materials
Older students, in particular, may be more motivated if they see the real-world application of their reading skills. One idea is to have students read something they care about, such as a novel or a piece of nonfiction that interests them. A collegue shared with me that her students are engaged when reading the intermediate articles in the program Six Minute Solutions.
A teacher who works with older students recommended having them read a few pages from a Driver’s Ed manual. A teacher of younger students suggested having students read the directions included in one of their board games. When students find it difficult to read, they realize the importance of reading skills in real-life situations.
Make Progress Visible
Involving the student in tracking their own progress can help them see that they are making strides. Engage students in the charting process so they can see the data for themselves and understand where they need improvement. This gives them a sense of ownership over their learning, which can be a powerful motivator.
The Role of Parental Support
Parental involvement is also critical in helping students overcome their resistance to tutoring. The way parents talk about tutoring at home can significantly impact how the child views it. Parents need to support the tutor and reinforce the importance of the sessions without putting extra pressure on the student. Sometimes, involving parents in conversations can be helpful—especially when students argue that they don’t need help.
One family I work with provides rewards when their child passes a level (or substep in the Wilson Reading Program). This motivates their child to achieve a goal rather than simply exhibit good behavior during the session. They celebrate the success together, reinforcing the child’s motivation to work hard.
If parents show they are on the same page as the tutor, it can help the child see tutoring as a team effort rather than an imposed task.
Final Thoughts
Working with a resistant student can be emotionally taxing, but it’s important to stay patient and flexible. Every child learns at their own pace, and sometimes the biggest hurdle isn’t academic but emotional. By using creative strategies and involving parents in the process, you can help break down the barriers that make tutoring feel like a chore for the student.
Remember, slow progress is still progress, and with the right approach, you can help your student start to see their potential—even when they don’t believe they need it.
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